{"id":514,"date":"2009-02-06T05:44:00","date_gmt":"2009-02-06T05:44:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bluetablepainting.com\/blog\/?p=514"},"modified":"2009-02-06T05:44:00","modified_gmt":"2009-02-06T05:44:00","slug":"mawiage-is-what-bwings-us-togedder-today","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.bluetablepainting.com\/blog\/2009\/02\/mawiage-is-what-bwings-us-togedder-today\/","title":{"rendered":"Mawiage is what bwings us togedder today"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/2.bp.blogspot.com\/_XxdgU-mVbm0\/SYwd8fFSFcI\/AAAAAAAABWo\/Yg0dTXpCEpc\/s1600-h\/squareknot.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" id=\"BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5299643786481243586\" style=\"WIDTH: 175px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 116px\" alt=\"\" src=\"http:\/\/2.bp.blogspot.com\/_XxdgU-mVbm0\/SYwd8fFSFcI\/AAAAAAAABWo\/Yg0dTXpCEpc\/s320\/squareknot.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<div>I feel suddenly inclined to talk about marriage. I hope my comments do not come across as preachy or moralizing, but rather as a humble proffering. This is only my one perspective.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<p><\/p>\n<div>It takes careful preparation. There should be courtship and consideration. It is a matter of great seriousness because it is not just for one&#8217;s self, but for the successive generations. I think it is the woman who must exercise the greatest discretion, for she is choosing the father of her children.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<p><\/p>\n<div>People do change over the long course of a good marriage, but it&#8217;s not such a good idea to count on that. Take a close and objective look. Marriage isn&#8217;t some doofus hipster thing that is only for the entertainment of the individual. It is the foundation of society, successive generations, and the formative years of small children.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<p><\/p>\n<div>Too much physical affection can cloud one&#8217;s judgment. That is a good and wholesome part of marriage, but not everything. Perhaps likened to mortar. It&#8217;s the bricks that are important. But boy that mortar sure does hold it all together.  Is that right?  That makes it sound like critically important<\/div>\n<div>.<\/div>\n<div>You&#8217;ve got to be practical and address the day-to-day items. How will the duties be divided? What are the practical goals? What about children and child-rearing? What are the basic rules of life?<\/div>\n<div>.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>My wife and I seriously curtailed the expression of physical affection during our courtship so that we could keep our heads on straight. We decided to never be alone together. We spent a lot of time at the public park and on the front steps of our homes.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<p><\/p>\n<div>Each person is different. There are many different situations. For me, I prepared for many years, and so when I found the right woman (or <em>a<\/em> right woman) it was only nineteen days from first date to proposal. But I wouldn&#8217;t necessarily recommend that for everyone. It&#8217;s a tough call. I&#8217;d say there&#8217;s only like a one in hundred chance of any two people being really compatible for a long-term marriage. You can beat those odds by dating a hundred people and keeping careful track of what you liked and didn&#8217;t like about each one. This doesn&#8217;t have to be hot and heavy for each date-ee. It can be a brief and friendly relationship, perhaps even without any romantic tones. Just a chance to get to know someone.<\/div>\n<div>.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>I definitely recommend making a list of &#8220;must haves&#8221; and a list of &#8220;dealbreakers&#8221;. That your future spouse have the same fundamental beliefs is a must. People think that love conquers all, but be careful, things that don&#8217;t seem important while gallavanting around town like two star-crossed lovers are of critical importance at 2am when the baby is crying.<\/div>\n<div>.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Then, of course, there&#8217;s the time to just quit your hem-hawing and just do it. There&#8217;s never a perfect time.<\/div>\n<div>.<\/div>\n<div>The piece of paper does matter. Sometimes the die-hard commitment is what sees it through when times are bad.<\/div>\n<div>.<\/div>\n<div>I remember being afraid of marriage for a while. I had heard how bad it was. That it was some kind of ordeal. My experience has been the exact opposite. Sure, there&#8217;s some arguments and bickering, but the general undercurrent is very pleasing.<\/div>\n<div>.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>I was greatly, immensely benefited by being LDS and following that formula before and after getting married. A &#8220;Mormon&#8221; wedding in a temple is short, sweet, and uncomplicated. It is extremely quiet. Two people kneel across an altar and clasp hands. I think it&#8217;s about ten minutes for the whole thing. I loved it.<\/div>\n<div>.<\/div>\n<div>Also, it never hurts to talk to your parents. They might know a thing or two about it. Or maybe not. But at least listen.<\/div>\n<div>.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>There is a gracious and kind God in Heaven. Anyone can call on Him for help and enlightenment. Most certainly in the all-important issue of creating a happy, stable and lasting marriage.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I feel suddenly inclined to talk about marriage. I hope my comments do not come across as preachy or moralizing, but rather as a humble proffering. This is only my one perspective. It takes careful preparation. There should be courtship and consideration. It is a matter of great seriousness because it is not just for [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-514","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bluetablepainting.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/514","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bluetablepainting.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bluetablepainting.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bluetablepainting.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bluetablepainting.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=514"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.bluetablepainting.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/514\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bluetablepainting.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=514"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bluetablepainting.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=514"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bluetablepainting.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=514"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}