Archive for August, 2008

Thursday August 21 2008 Wanderer

Wednesday August 20 2008 Week of Strangeness

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Plug for Ultraforge

Picture: a model sculpted and painted by Ultraforge.

These guys put out one heckuva product. I’ve got one of their giants all painted up nice and I have to say that thing looks like it’s going to walk right off the base.

Check them out.

Blerg-tastic

A Seed

This is the account of my conversion to “Mormonism”.

In the summer of 1984 in Ashland, Oregon, I was just fifteen years old. It had been two years since our father left us. When the father leaves, the child loses both mother and father. My mother had to work various jobs for our support. At one point she was pulling double-shifts at a wood mill. It was thus that I was left with near total freedom to come and go as I pleased.

Feeling something was missing from our family, I decided to seek out religion. Every Sunday I would get on my bike and ride around town until I came to a church. I would go in and listen to whatever they had to say. I became part of a bible study group. I was reading the New Testament for the first time on my own account.

It was light. It was good. No explanation or convincing was needed.

Summer turned to Autumn. Autumn turned to Winter.

One Sunday, I noticed a donation slip on the back of the pew. It had a box to check, “Are you a member of this church”. A light bulb went on in my head. I should join a church. But which one?

One afternoon I went to a local field and walking to the center I knelt down and pleaded with my Almighty Friend to show me the way that I should go.

Later that week I was sitting in my living room reading the gospel of John when there was a knock on the door. A sister missionary from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints introduced herself and her companion. I practically pulled them in to sit on the couch while I sat across from them. I explained that I was going to various churches and was looking to join one of them, and asked if they taught lessons. Replying to the affirmative we set up a time to meet.

It was thus that I became an investigator of the “Mormon” church, taking discussions with the Sisters while still attending my other churches.

Friends, relatives, and the Pastor of my bible study group all kindly advised me against getting involved with the Mormons and gave me various pamphlets and books supposedly revealing the evils of that religion, which I read with great interest.

Meanwhile, I was also reading the Book of Mormon and (on the instruction of the missionaries) praying to know if it was divinely inspired.

I got no answer. Nothing.

One morning I got so frustrated with the whole affair that I took the Book of Mormon and threw it out into the yard. I then headed off to school.

When I returned that afternoon, I had forgotten about the incident, but then saw the book there, laying open in the grass. I took it up again and went into the house. I went into my mother’s room. I shut and locked the door. I opened the book again and saw that the Sisters had noted Alma 32. I read that chapter and then knelt at the bedside to pray.

This time was different. I set my soul to know the truth either way. Only God the Almighty could show me what I should do. I was determined in my heart of hearts that I would follow whatever course no matter the hazard.

I got my answer in an indescribable way. Here’s a try: my soul had been a stormy ocean, with waves so high I could not see nothing else. In this moment the tempest became a sea of glass, the clouds parted and the Sun shone the way to a distant and grassy shore.

It was light. It was good. No explanation or convincing was needed.

I finished the discussions with the sisters and was interviewed for baptism.

Soon thereafter in late winter (February 17, 1985) I was baptized as a disciple of Christ and confirmed. And gladly. I didn’t know where the road would lead, but I knew for certain it was the right first step.

Details and Other Thoughts

First off, I am very worried whenever I post something like this– will it be heavy-handed or preachy? I am grateful that those two sisters came down my street knocking doors. I know that’s no easy task. But I consider it worth a year’s trouble that they just found me. So, I just couldn’t keep it to myself. What if some young person reads this and he or she is influenced as I have been?

My hope is to uplift or inspire someone out there.

I’ve had a great experience as a Latter-Day Saint. This one decision not only saved me a lot of trouble but really made my life wonderful. I highly recommend it.

Did I still make a lot of mistakes as a young person? Yes, oh most certainly yes. I’d estimate, though, that the trouble I got into was about 98% less. Even twenty-four years later I am still quite a flawed character. I say it without reservation that I suffer the same foibles as all men.

If somehow, through some sophistry beyond my understanding, someone were able to destroy that testimony, then my testimony of the Bible would be destroyed as well. The confirmation for both comes from the same source. I know God. I trust Him. He will deliver in the end.

When Daniel was put down into the lion’s den, he didn’t know exactly how it was going to end.

If I don’t understand something, or there is some apparent contradiction, I put it into the Jury Room of my mind. And then I wait on the Lord to explain it to me. I don’t trust my own wisdom. I think that if a man had ten of the most learned men on the planet, each with a mountain of books, that he would end up more turned around than ever, because they could never agree. It never ends; one side stacking the papers with one argument with an equally large stack on the other.

I think people wimp out too early. “I prayed about it but didn’t get an answer and so after X time I just gave up and went back to what I was doing.” Think twenty years. That’s when some of the good stuff happens. Can’t wait to see the forty year mark!

The truth is like a pearl of great price: the cost is everything you have.

At one point I went to the Medford public library to do more reading on the matter. One thing that struck me was that the amount of material written against the Mormon church is enormously disproportionate. I think I counted twenty three books against (let’s say five as a conservative number, for the sake of argument), while only two or three books against any other religion.

To become a Mormon is to choose a narrow way.

Sister Cowrie was on divisions with W. Clark, a young woman from the ward, a year my senior. Wendy had what could only be described as an inner light.

I was taught the discussions in the house of R. Noble’s father, up on Clay Street. I was taught by Sister Zanito and Sister Cowrie. They were both older than normal for sisters. When they taught me about the pre-existence it was as if my soul were a bell and they struck it loud and clear with a hammer.

The Christian church that I mainly attended was down on “B” street, as I recall. Pastor Anderson was a kindly man and treated the Mormons respectfully. He lived just up the street from the Ashland meetinghouse, on lower Clay Street. He said that the Bible was a “pool from which lambs could sip and elephants could wallow.”

I stopped taking the discussions long around the fourth one (out of six). In my childish mind I wanted to see if these Mormon youth were sincere in their friendship. Yes, they were. They were faithful in seeking me out. It must have been during this time that I had my experience with the book of Mormon.

The grand-daughter of the elderly couple, T. Noble, played the flute. I forgot to bring a change of underwear, so when they were confirming me I had wet undershorts in my sweater pocket.

I couldn’t tie my own tie, so I would wait on Sunday morning for someone to pass by my house who would tie it for me. I was given a few ties by a family from the ward. Then, I learned to simply keep them tied and slip them over my head each time.

After being baptized, I walked to church for a while, perhaps a mile or more, until the Noble family started to pick me up. The daughter, T. Noble, became my fast friend and support in every matter. She was one year my junior.

As usual, I make my normal disclaimer: I do not claim any special ability or status. I think that each person has a divine heritage– to seek and claim on their own. Also, this is a rough draft. I plan on refining and clarifying this later.

Friday August 15 2008 Unemployed in Greenland

Picture: Dante, hero of the Blood Angels.

The day in the life began at about 6am. I got up and watched an episode of Deep Space Nine while answering various emails. As usual, Griffin got up before anyone else and we turned to Ben 10 and I layed on the couch with him and took a cat nap.

I then headed out to the Provo Temple. The flowers there are in full bloom and there are so many of them, a giant aisle of flowers and wheat-like stalks, that the aroma practically lifted me off my feet.

My mind clear, I headed back to the office around 1pm to find that everything was running smoothly. There was a giant pile of projects to be sorted to various destinations: assembly, painting, billing, and ordering. There was also a huge box full of models that completed various projects.

Share the joy.

Mike was down finishing up a project today. We spent a goodly time standing around shooting the bull about our D&D game. If the game is too easy it becomes a cake walk and the excitement, the thrill of imminent death, goes away. It is my sacred duty to make the possibility of death a reality.

For that moment we were five of us (Renn, Sarah, Brigham, Mike and I) standing around shooting the breeze, we didn’t want to go back to work. Which is odd given how enjoyable our work is!

My printer has been making an odd noise and finally died out, bringing the operation to a stand still. My wife came by to pick up a deposit and we did a switch-off. I took the kids and she headed out alone to do errands. I loaded the kids up in the car and swung by a burger joint. I was going to just swing through the drive through but once they caught sight of that playground thing we ended up going in. Fortunately, they have wi-fi so I was able to keep working unabated. It’s a constant race to keep up on communications. I like it, though, I get to meet a lot of new people.

Once at home I put the kids to work on their various chores and cleaning up. And at last I put them to bed. Tamie is out running around, a much-needed break. She’s picking up a new printer. That will be nice. That is one essential piece of equipment!

I love spending time with my kids. They are really something special.

On another note.

BTP provides jobs. Some sweet jobs. Heather is coming up on four years. Her life is completely changed. She used to be pitiful and on the dole. But she’s a go-getter and she decided to work really hard and get good at this profession. Because she has MS she can’t hold a regular job. Because of the flexibility and accomodations that this job provides she’s been able to completely get on her own two feet, soon to be remarried, and she just bought a house.

Heather is a Hero of the Imperium in my book. She has been there through thick and thin.

Blue Table Painting has a life of its own. I want my artists to hold their heads up high and win the bread; to develop and conquer. To grow with the business. I look back with satisfaction at the trail already blazed (in spite of mistakes), and with high hopes for the future.

This business provides for many people. They pay their rent with it. They will pay for weddings, children, and … life with it. I feel a terrible responsibility on my shoulders. If the business declines, people don’t have work to do.

PS- I am watching Stargate Atlantis again. The Ancients were a bunch of wimps if you ask me.

PPS- If you like the taste of Play-Doh, then by all means pick up a box of new Nilla Cakesters. Those things are gross beyond belief. Sorry, but it had to be said.

Compliments on Death Korps of Krieg project

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New Space Marine Codex

True Dungeon Lures Would-Be Dragon Slayers

This week, in a hotel ballroom in Indianapolis, hundreds will die.

They’ll come from all walks of life — wizards and warriors, rogues and rangers. Some will be brought down by insidious traps, others will succumb to deadly spells. A few will merely be beaten to death.

–Wired

Read the rest here.

Grandpa vs. the IRS

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.

The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.’

I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,’ says Grandpa. ‘How about a demonstration?’
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, ‘Okay. Go ahead.’

Grandpa says, ‘I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.’
The auditor thinks a moment and says, ‘It’s a bet.’
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor’s jaw drops.

Grandpa says, ‘Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.’
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

‘Want to go double or nothing?’ Grandpa asks ‘I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.’

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Grandpa’s attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

‘Are you okay?’ the auditor asks.

‘Not really,’ says the attorney. ‘This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you’d be happy about it.’

[thanks for my good friend Mike for this one]

Here are some cartoons that are freakin’ hilarious.

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